After dropping the kiddos off at school today, I went out for my run. Typically I do this at 5AM, but my usual 4:45 wake up seemed too extreme for this Body Pumped soreness I am still feeling from Monday's class. So with an extra hour of sleep, breakfast, coffee ... by 8:30 it was go time!
It was a nice change running in the daylight (feel as though I have become a vampire runner these days), and as I approached my desired turn around point I chose not to turn around: I kept going; tired, hot, alone, I chose to keep pressing on this new route. Something inside of me said to keep running, to move forward ... there is more needed, it can be greater.
So what was the greater thing from my run? More calories burned, more sweat, enhanced training effect? I don't know ... perhaps this blog! (heehee) It was a good run though!!
Going passed my set turn back point on this run is such the metaphor for my life. Our life with Autism, PANDAS, food sensitivities, leaky gut, microbial invasion, autoimmune disease, MTHFR.... My husband and I so often define a stopping place of treatment for all this, and yet we consistently go beyond that turn around place. We keep moving our son, our family forward.
Life is hard with autism. Life is unbearable during a PANDAS flare. Life is often isolating and lonely with food allergies. Life is exhausting when one gives all they have financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and still the illness, the autism remains. Yet ... something inside says, "Press on ... Persevere ...Stay the course ... Victory is near".
Our journey with our son Logan has taken many different paths. A lot of times it just feels like a circle, but emotions aside ... it is a spiral. It can get mentally messy going around and around with different supplements, therapies, dietary adjustments, and treatment protocols, and it is that frazzled, exhausted state of being that makes me often want to just stop and turn around, turn away from it all. But I don't, we don't. Just like in my morning run, I press on, tired, exhausted, often alone ... I persevere for something greater. In this case ... for greater healing for our son.
Autism can bring one to very dark places but also bring some amazing triumphs. Those who rise victoriously from a battle, often look like they have been through hell, they've given their all not knowing the final outcome, but pressing on, persevering with hope for victory. Whether a boxer, football player, soldier, track athlete, cancer patient ... mom of an autistic boy .. it holds true.
"PRESS ON and PERSEVERE" ...isn't that what we are ALL CALLED to do?" I think I am feeling driven today to encourage you "WARRIOR MOMS" because we've had a rough few weeks battling a PANDAS flare in our home due to strep throat. As we emerge from this battle from the help of some amazing antibiotics, I am just more aware of our patterns of complete chaos followed by victory and hope so that perhaps that you too will find the strength to "PRESS ON and PERSEVERE" even though you may be worn thin. Victory from the battle must be close.
All this reminds me of a moment I shared in "OUR STORY" from THE AIR DIET, www.theairdiet.com/store :
"There have been times (many) when I have fallen to my knees, face to the floor, in grave devastation pleading with God to change things, to remove the pain in my bleeding heart, to heal our son, and restore some sense of normalcy in our family life. Once, to my surprise, I was brought out of one of these heart-wrenching prayers by a soft voice, Logan's voice, and as he looked at me weeping, he clearly said to me, "Never, never, never, give up." (THE AIR DIET, 2014, p. 183)
So whatever battle you are facing. What ever point you are at on your journey. PRESS ON and PERSEVERE and "Never, never, never, give up." Extend your turn around point and keep going!